Commit
by secretstranger69
Summary: Minerva has been lying to Hermione about her feelings for years. When the truth comes out, will she be able to convince the heartbroken brunette to give her another chance?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Just a quick two shot. Enjoy.

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"Why are you doing this?" She whispered as the woman moved towards her. She was unable to keep her eyes off parted lips. Even though she was confused and shocked, she certainly wasn't immune to the beautiful woman in front of her.

"I don't know." She whispered back honestly and leaned in towards the younger woman's mouth.

"Why won't you stop?" She asked weakly as her eyes fluttered closed. Soft, luscious lips brushed over her own sending shocks down her spine.

"I don't want to."

And with that, they kissed, both unable to pretend they didn't want what was happening. Instantly, they moaned and she brought her hands up to cup the older woman's face. Their heads turned as the kiss increased in passion.

They parted, and she panted out, "I…I don't…I don't understand…why-"

She quieted her with another kiss until they had to part again. Panting even harder she whispered, "You said no to this. To _me_. You said no…."

"I know." She kissed her again and this time when she pulled back, she trailed her lips down her throat and began searching out all the places that made the younger girl moan.

"Oh! God…I…This is so – fuck! So good." She moaned and placed her hands on the woman's shoulder, intent on pushing her off. Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, the woman happened to find a particularly _orgasmic_ spot on her throat, making her squeeze the cloth in her hand as she came apart under her.

She pulled back, eyes wide, "Did you just...?"

Biting her lip, she nodded.

"Fuck that's sexy." Her eyes darker than black, she swooped back in attacking that spot with every trick she knew.

"Ohhhh! Nooo, no, no! Stop - oh my god that's…how are you….with your tongue….Holy...AH!" she nearly screamed her completion, her muscles weak. She panted, "S-stop it. This isn't what you want, Minerva. Just stop! This is cruel and far too good to be true."

Minerva shook her head, the haze lifting for only a second. It was more than enough time for Hermione to move from under her and walk to the other side of the room on shaky legs.

"Stay away from me, Minerva."

The woman looked at her and shook her head. Standing, her eyes devoured Hermione as she moved closer, stalking her. "Can't. I want you."

Hermione closed her eyes as she felt her heart both flutter and break. "No. You don't. You made that perfectly clear long ago, Minerva."

"I lied." She said without hesitation. "I want you."

Hermione clenched her fists against Minerva's words, unsure whether to believe them or not. "Why are you doing this? Why can't we get out of here?"

Minerva shook her head and backed Hermione against the wall, "Don't know. Don't care."

Hermione's knees gave out as Minerva kissed her again. The older woman halted her fall with a thigh between her legs. Hermione gasped at the unexpected pressure.

She wanted this woman. But Minerva was adamant, always adamant that she wasn't interested in Hermione. Her eyes blank, unreadable. Her voice leaving no room for any argument.

But now?

Locked in this inescapable room with an obviously compromised Minerva. She was only so strong. Her broken heart would keep her from giving in for only so long.

Tears fell down her face and Minerva kissed them away, making them fall faster, "I-I can't…I don't understand Minerva…is this what you have always wanted? Have you been lying to me or are you just under a spell or the effects of some potion?"

Minerva swallowed and all attempts to take Hermione stopped as she tried not to answer. Hermione used this to push the woman off of her and wrap her arms around herself as she fell to the ground.

This was pure hell. Whoever did this to her was going to regret this for years to come. She would make certain that she would cast a permanent spell, maybe channel Bellatrix and carve a lesson into their skin.

This. Was. Not. Okay.

She almost didn't hear Minerva's answer rip itself from her throat.

"I lied."

Hermione sobbed audibly, "You what?!"

Minerva's eyes shut, unable to bear looking at the broken woman. "I lied. I love you."

With those words, a door audibly appeared and opened. Hermione stood and stomped towards the door. Minerva stood in her path, her mind suddenly clear, "Hermione wait! I'm sorry I-"

Her words were cut off as she was suddenly tossed about. Hermione's nose flared in anger and she stood in front of the woman who was pinned against the wall. Calmly, she spat, "I despise you Minerva McGonagall. I **NEVER** want to see you ever again."

Minerva felt her heart drop into her stomach, "Hermione don't do this. Please!"

Her cries fell on deaf ears and Hermione stalked out of the room without a second glance.

The door closed behind her and Minerva held out hope that the woman would come back. She was still against the wall, so surely that meant the woman was near, right?

No sooner than she had finished the thought did the magic leave, taking majority of her hope with it. She fell to her hands and knees, her eyes focused on the closed door. Hermione would walk through any second and Minerva would explain herself.

Any second…

"Please." She whispered to the door, her heart cracking with every second. "I love you." She whispered and when the door remained closed, she pressed her forehead against the cold stone floor. "I love you!" she yelled and her heart finally shattered. Minerva broke into gut wrenching sobs as she realized that Hermione wasn't come back for her.

And why should she?

For years, Minerva had rejected Hermione while simultaneously giving the impression that she wanted more with the younger woman. At least until Hermione asked for more. Then she was the cold Headmistress turning down the offer of a foolish student with a crush. It hurt Minerva to do so more than she could ever convey in words.

Foolishly turning down the affections of a woman she was madly in love with. All for the sake of what she believed to be best for the school. Or at least, that's what she told herself. The only justification that didn't speak negatively about her character. Her cowardice. Her weakness.

Truth is she was afraid of commitment to anything that wasn't a school by the name of Hogwarts.

And she knew that if she started something with Hermione, it would last several lifetimes. A love as strong as she felt for the woman? Oh no that love was far too much for only one life.

But she had a school to think about. Surely if she started something with Hermione the woman would take up her time. Look at her!

Now…Minerva knew that her sex drive was…well…high. One would think after 40, it would lower but it only rose. She _wanted_. And if she got it from Hermione…surely her mind would stray…often…and what if she became addicted?

She just didn't have time for such foolishness.

And the intimacy that would accompany it…was she expected to tell Hermione about her fear of butterflies or her recurring nightmare of accidently setting her family library on fire or her desire to go skydiving one day or how she had always hated the shape of her nose?

No these things…Hermione didn't need to know these things. And if Minerva committed to her, that would mean telling her, so…she didn't.

It had always worked out so well…

She stood slowly and shuffled out of the room. Her joints ached, but she earned that pain. She looked out the window. They were so far above the ground…surely there was some way around the suicide prevention wards right? She was headmistress after all.

She opened the window and looked down. Hermione never wanted to see her again. The least she could do was make it easy on the woman right?

One foot out of the window, a patronus appeared.

"Minerva. There's been an incident. Please come to the herbatology room ASAP."

She sighed and closed the window. Perhaps later.


	2. Chapter 2

When she arrived, she was shocked at the sight. Harry and Ron were both tangled in devil's snare with bruises and cuts all over them. Periodically, they tossed up slugs and the poor boys were crying, obviously miserable. Their wands were snapped into fours and they seemed to have boils all over their bodies. Of course, they were writhing in pain, which made the plant only grip them tighter.

Upon seeing her, their eyes widened and Minerva instantly knew why they were in such a state. Pure unadulterated rage overcame her body and Minerva cast several Sectum Sempra's at the plant, occasionally nicking the boys who were shouting their apologies. She was deaf to their pleas and the shouts for her to stop, just as Hermione was deaf to hers. Minerva cast Fiendfyre and with expert precision, burned the snare off of the boys burning them in places, but not badly enough to cause permanent damage.

Well…mostly…

When she was finished, she cancelled the spell and stood in the middle of the room her chest heaving and her broken heart rattling inside. She refused to cry in front of them. Turning, she marched out with a harsh, "Heal them the muggle way and send those little shits to Filch to do with as he pleases," over her shoulder.

The staff simply stared at her retreating form shocked, before they levitated the crying men and moved them to the hospital wing for a proper healing.

Minerva visited the two eventually, delighting in the way they cowered from her with guilt and fear in their eyes.

"I want to know everything."

She said coolly.

"W-we only wanted to h-help – "

Minerva yelled for the first time in her history of being at the school, "Well you obviously did not help, so skip the fucking platitudes! I don't give a damn about your good intentions. Tell me what you did, how you did it and what the hell you thought was going to come from it!"

Their eyes widened and Poppy stepped out, "Minerva!"

Before she could admonish the woman, Minerva's icy eyes turned to her and she spoke calmly, "Go back into your office Poppy." When she did so, Minerva turned her eyes back to the two bastards in front of her.

"Speak." She hissed.

"We told the room of requirement we needed a room for you two to work out your problems and for it to not let either of you out until you answered, honestly whether or not you loved Hermione. We spiked your drink with a potion to help things along. We thought you'd admit it and Hermione would welcome you with open arms."

Ron swallowed, "W-We told Hermione that we wanted to do it, but she refused…"

Minerva ground her teeth, "Did she know about the potion?"

Harry shook his head, "That was a last minute decision. A truth potion with a hint of lust."

Minerva glared at the two young men, trying to calm herself before she withdrew her wand and cast an unforgiveable on the two.

Just then Hermione walked in and Minerva abruptly stood. The brunette's eyes were puffy and red and Minerva's heart broke all over again. What had she done?

"Her-"

"Don't!" she yelled and Minerva quieted. "It's Professor Granger to you, Headmistress. Just as you've wanted it all these years." She turned to the two men with wide eyes and guilty looks at the new tension between them. "I've only come to pay these two a visit."

She pulled out her wand and flicked it furiously at them. "Enjoy your day." She spat and left as they began screaming fearfully at some hallucination.

Minerva chased after her and pulled the surprisingly compliant woman into an empty classroom, "Hermione please let me explain!"

Hermione's back remained to her and Minerva walked up to her, "Yes Hermione. I lied. For years. I do love you. So much. I was afraid." She placed her hands on shaking shoulders and whispered, "I still am."

Hermione released a sob, "Afraid of what, O great head of Gryffindor?"

The barb sent a heaping of shame down her throat, but it also gave her courage to move closer to the hurting woman. She placed her forehead on the back of Hermione's neck and wrapped her arms around folded arms, "Afraid of you."

They stayed there silently for a while, both of them releasing silent tears, the pain in their chest a constant ache.

Hermione didn't know how to feel. On one hand, she loved this woman. And to hear it said back under forced conditions? She was a mess of emotions. Happy, overjoyed, saddened, enraged, disappointed, confused, hurt. The woman had lied to her about it for the past six years.

How was she supposed to feel? Other than incredibly, incredibly sad.

Sad was a good word for how she felt. Just sad.

And the boys. Her boys. She understood they only wanted to help, but she had declined…often. She had asked them as a favor to her, something she didn't ask for, to drop the subject. For good.

Why was it so impossible to do the one thing she asked of them?

Of course, the fact that the two people she considered brothers couldn't do one simple thing only made her sadder. She had intended on apologizing, only a little bit. But then she saw Minerva and well…she became angry all over again.

And now? Hearing that she had suffered a broken heart over and over for the past six years simply because the woman was afraid? She turned angrily,

"I was afraid every time I asked you on a date, or tried to kiss you. Anytime I made reference to my feelings for you, Minerva I was afraid! But I loved you! So it was worth it! Am I not worth it, Minerva?"

Minerva's eyes burned with tears and her breath became heavy as she tried not to cry. It was another weakness of hers, the inability to talk and cry at the same time. She opened her mouth to speak, but the look on Hermione's face sent her into tears and well….after that, she could only blubber nonsense.

Hermione resisted the urge to wrap her arms around the woman. Giving in was not an option, no matter how appealing it seemed. Her arms twitched and she turned her back, prepared to leave.

Minerva somehow saw this through her tears and she yelled, "No!" She refused to let her leave like that a second time. She wrapped her arms tightly around Hermione and calmed herself enough to whisper,

"I am a coward Hermione. I have always been when it comes to matters of the heart. I am afraid to love and be loved. I am afraid that we will fight and you will never come back. I am afraid you will see my insecurities and laugh in my face and realize you could never love someone like me. I am afraid I will find some flaw in you that will deem us incompatible.

"I am afraid of shattering the image of us as a happy loving couple that I often see when I think of you. For that reason, I refrained from confessing, but Hermione please. Please. I don't want you to hate me. I-I couldn't bare it."

Hermione's jaw worked and Minerva held her breath. She hadn't been thrown into a wall yet which was a good sign. "I don't hate you." Hermione whispered, closing her eyes as she spoke. With those words, her anger left and all that remained was pain and love for the woman holding on to her.

Minerva exhaled and slowly moved to the front of Hermione who refused to look at her. The brunette's head was lowered to the floor and as Minerva moved in front of her, she turned her head towards the side, not wanting to look at the woman.

She released a shaky groan as Minerva's lips pressed a loving against her temple. She gripped the woman and pulled her into a hug as she broke down in her arms.

Sobbing, she yelled and beat Minerva's chest, "Why can't I hate you? I've tried and tried! You lied to me for six years! You sent me away and brought me back only to send me away again. Everytime I thought I had a chance you snatched it from under my feet and I fell for the same tricks again and again! You kissed me! You touched me and then you told me it was friendly! I thought you were coming to grips with your attraction and then boom! You break my heart and I let you!"

Her knees gave out and they both fell to their knees on the floor. Hermione stopped hitting the woman and whispered brokenly, "Why can't I hate you?"

Minerva's tears fell in rivers down her face as she listened to the woman yell her frustrations. Hermione by all rights, should hate Minerva. And the fact that she wanted to…it hurt. It was what she deserved, but it fucking hurt. She choked out a pained sob and took several deep breaths, trying to clear her throat. When she felt she could talk again, she held Hermione tighter, "I'm sorry Hermione. I am so sorry. I…you're right I was cruel to you. I couldn't bear to let you go. Every time I tried, I would see your smiling face and give in to my desires. I tried so many times to let you go. Let you move on to someone who wasn't such a coward. But the very thought made me sick to my stomach and sent a spike through my heart, so I pulled you back. It…it was wrong of me. There is no denying that and I wouldn't dare try to minimize the hurt I've cause you by doing so." She cupped the now silent face

"Hermione I will leave you alone for the rest of my life if you ask. I will apologize for the rest of my life if you want, but that requires me to remain in your life for the rest of mine. Please don't ask me to leave you."

Hermione sniffed and laughed self depreciatingly, "Oh Minerva. Don't you get it? I…" she stopped, unable to say those three words right then. "I couldn't ask you to leave. It would hurt far too much."

Minerva buried her nose in the woman's hair and with a deep breath asked, "Will you let me try to make this better?"

Hermione froze.

"How?"

Minerva forced out the words, ignoring the stone of fear in her stomach. "Would you go out on a date with me?"

Hermione scoffed, "I thought you were too afraid for such things."

Minerva nodded, "I am. But I love you more than I am afraid of you."

Hermione sighed and stood to pace. Running her hand through her hair, she turned to Minerva who was still on her knees, "You realize this won't be easy? Or perfect? I will get angry with you Minerva. I'll make snippy remarks and yeah, you probably do have some habits I won't like, but I love you, you idiot. I'll get over them. Same for you. That's what two people who love each other do, Minerva. They argue and fight and make up. It happens. This won't be perfect Minerva. I'm not perfect. Hell, I've just traumatized Harry and Ron."

Minerva tilted her head, curious, "What did you just do to them?"

Hermione blushed, "I may have ah…made Ron think spiders were crawling over his body and biting him…everywhere…"

Minerva winced, "And Harry?"

Hermione's head lowered, "Nagini…"

Minerva smiled and stood, moving to stand in front of Hermione. Her hand caught the woman's chin and slowly lifted her to look at her. "I love you." She said, amazed at how easy it was to say it now. She leaned down slowly, giving Hermione plenty of time to stop her. When the younger woman remained still, Minerva crossed the remaining distance and kissed her.

A promise to try. To commit.

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A/N: I hope you all liked it. A sequel is very possible. Also, I swear I'm working on everything else! Lemme know if you want that sequel guys!


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